Why loving your period is optional
Understanding your period - that needs to be mandatory!
When I started working in menstrual health I wasn’t really sure where I fitted in, it was even more weird to be talking about it when I ventured into the foreign lands of periods and vaginas a decade ago. I thought I had to be a wafty feminine creature, long skirted, chakra clutching, beaded and namastaying all over the place. I had a preconceived image and message that talking about periods made you a stereotype. I did not fit that particular picture. It is interesting to me though that this work is often governed by stereotypes and that you are in essence a weirdo to want to do it. That is the patriarchy at work - I seee you!!
Forward along to where I am now and I am still met with the same stereotype, only it isn’t me making it but potential clients saying forthrightly to me that they aren’t into any weird shit. I don’t want to love my period they tell me and might as well stamp their foot and fold their arms at the same time.
As it goes, I agree, you don’t have to love your period. Heaven knows I didn’t for a very long time. I Don’t know if I do now, thinking about it as I write this I kind of see my period as a work colleague, we exchange pleasantries, and I would have their back but I wouldn’t go out with them because the small talk would run out and then it would just be awkward!
What I will say is that you have to understand it, you need to have a good solid foundational knowledge about your menstrual cycle that consists of more than – when it starts and stops and that you wish it would never darken your door every again.
I mean I truly understand that, when something has been so insufferable it is very hard to cultivate a kind response, we can ALL probably think of a human that conjures up that example quite succinctly!
The trouble is, when you have been told repeatedly that your period is meant to be the way it is (painful, heavy, irregular, awful mood disruptions and anything else you want to put in there) by society, medicine, family and friends. They very last thing you need is a health coach, like me, telling you that you have to love your period before we can start working together.
I don’t need you to love your period, most of the clients I work with have been gaslit enough. They don’t need anymore, they need the truth and that is my jam.
Gaslighting in medicine is a big problem. I’m not saying it is intentional, but it is rife and that is problematic. Why? Because it unhinges our reality and how we relate to our bodies, eventually we don’t really know our asses from our elbows when it comes to what is really going on for us. This then makes us at the mercy of others opinions and we lose out autonomy and advocation for ourselves. There is a reason gaslighting is used as a psychological weapon!
Being told repeatedly all is well and you know it isn’t has consequences, and not is a good way. It undermines our capacity to challenge and take charge. Not only that we have such a lack of knowledge about the workings of our menstrual cycle on the rest of our body as a whole we have already been back footed quite considerably. Then take into account being from a marginalised group and we have more layers than a Vienetto to navigate. Who’s ready for a lie down before they have even got started?!
If you are finding that your symptoms or condition is affecting aspects of your activities of daily living, this is not OK. Work, play, sex, eating, exercise and education should not be impacted by our periods. Our periods don’t need to be affecting us physically or psychologically and if they are then it’s a red flag. The normalisation of this has had such detrimental affect on our lives, I won’t even fix it in my lifetime. I just hope I inspire enough of you and the next generation to have a deeper appreciation for your period. I promise the loving it is entirely optional.
As for the weird shit, well I leave that up to you. It was a hard no when I started out and now it’s highly likely you will catch me naked howling under a full moon. On that score you do you ;)
I have spaces for my Well Woman Roadmap available for July and if you would like to find out more you can book in for a free discovery call with me here.