I'm with you Gemma. It troubles me that HRT is increasingly seen as a panacea. Personally I think we are sweeping a lot under the carpet about why women are struggling so much with perimenopause. As a psychologist I see a lot of unresolved grief, pain, and trauma surfacing during this life stage, and I don't believe that can be medicated away (or if we do mask it with pharmaceuticals we miss a powerful healing opportunity). I'm glad HRT exists as an option for those who are struggling to function, but I firmly believe there are other ways through. It definitely won't be my first port of call.
Thank you for this reply, I do worry about the panacea bubble of it too. I agree there is something more to it than just hot sweats, I believe a more nuanced discussion is needed in the mix.
I’m a huge fan of HRT. It saved me. But also, it’s not for everyone, nor does everyone need or want it. As you’ve pointed out, what we need is research and information for women - and options so women can make the best decision on what works for her. Imagine!
Ha yes imagine! This is it though isn't it, having all the information enables us to make informed choices. I think it's a rich topic and I am so glad you found what you needed and it worked for you. We have to keep talking about it I think.
I’m so glad you wrote this, and that I happened on it (new to SS).
Not infrequently I have felt I have failed my patients in this area. And as you succinctly describe, the issues are much more holistic and nuanced, often bound up with our messy modern lives.
Thank you so much for your insight, honesty and integrity 🫶🏼
Thanks for your reply Robin, I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you fail your patients, I can empathise. I worked as a nurse for 20 years and in the end had to leave because I felt that on the daily. It's a hard line to walk along, but I'm sure you do the best you can with what you have. Take it easy out there.
Love this, and so resonant for me at the perimenopausal stage of life! I particularly love that final wrap up at the end - I feel that way too, that there's something in it, and it deeply resonates with me and my own experience with a cyclical 'hormonal' rash for the past 5 or 6 years - grieving, diet, lifestyle, healing deep childhood wounds and all that you mention in that last little bit have played the biggest part in helping it, whilst the doc wanted to just stick me on HRT or give me a hysterectomy to fix it.
The title pulled me in, because it hinted at the pressures we all face, in on way or another, to conform to the created ideology or narrative - especially if it has been long held or mainstreamed.
This captured it:
"That it’s safer, better, necessary and that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t take it."
The taught, learned, generalized and accepted consensus is "there IS something wrong with you for not taking the wizards magic potion - "that the rest of us are taking...see Gemma...we take it, why won't you???"
I would ask all of us, men and women, "are we crap humanist, if we take HRT" - the metaphor for everything - that has been created to work against the natural function of our bodies?
I'll stop here before this turns into a rant/post.
Well done ma'am, for rejecting the magic position(s), that now are used to bestow normalcy or abnormalcy, on us all.
Thank you for your comment. Its a conversation I have had many times with friends so i thought I would open it up to the internet and see what happened. Turns out I'm not on my own!
Great post, I was actually just thinking about the pill and how many of my peers at about 15 were being prescribed it to ‘regulate’ their periods. I thought that quite odd but was too young to know why. And now, yes the HRT thing. I’ve tried it twice and it made me feel worse but also felt wrong doing it as I still don’t trust the information. I am on a daily basis trying to adjust the settings on me so to speak hoping that one day I will feel kind of healthy! But I am generally ok and that’s due to exercise and creativity and a great people around me but none the less women’s health is a massive enigma! I think it’s mainly because too many men got involved and now worse than that you have the ‘bros’ sticking their oar in! Ay yi yi! Im still glad to be a woman though!
The Bros looooooool yes they can get in the bin! Thanks for your reply to my post, its reassuring to know it isn't just me thinking this. I like the idea of adjusting the settings, its like a recalibration of things! If you need any help just give me a shout I have a load of herbal potions etc that can help. Women's health is defo an enigma.
It's not worked for me. Or maybe it has but I definitely don't feel better, maybe just not as bad as i might. Who knows!. Hysterectomy for me next month as I've got complex atypical blah blah. I wish I'd known years ago what I know now. And the key, I am certain, will be tying together my hormonal health and my emotional health. It's a work in progress for sure and I truly believe that if I'd had the opportunity to balance my hormones naturally, with care and understanding from the off, I'd not have needed to implode now! I think you're a feminist for not taking it. And this article is superb xx
Hope all goes well with that my lovely. I know if i had a pound for every woman that has said that to me over the years i would be RICH! Yup our emotions are tied to intrinsically to our hormones you can't do one without the other really. Sending all the love to you xx
I also loathe the fear mongering and the idea that I need to be on HRT for the rest of my life because somehow this natural transition means that my heart and brain are going to shrivel up if I don’t take a pharmaceutical. I mean, really?
I hear this endless mantra, “HRT doesn’t cause breast cancer,“ and then I go on Facebook health groups, and the number one thing I hear, woman after woman after woman after woman after woman say, is: “I love HRT, until I got breast cancer.“
Menopause has been a complete nightmare for me, for three years. I’ve been waking up 10 times a night with hot flashes.
But I’ll be damned if I’ll take HRT. I don’t trust it, I don’t trust the pharmaceutical companies, and I’ll keep trying herbs and acupuncture and psychological healing and throwing the kitchen sink at it from the alternative corner.
Just last week I have only been waking up about four times a night, which is a complete and total miracle for me. I started taking some new herbs and I’m hoping it’s either that or my body is finally learning it doesn’t need to keep doing this!
I’m just not interested in being a cash register for big Pharma. So whatever it takes, I’m going to find a way to do this without HRT!
I deeply appreciate everything you wrote here, it’s very validating and a voice that we seldom hear!
Hey Melissa, thank you for your reply. I'm so sorry you are having a bit of a bumpy time with things - I'm just throwing this out there that I am a herbalist if that is of any interest and you would like to know more happy to help - But yes it is very confusing and sensational at times I think with the media for sure, and it is an industry no denying it. I wish you more sleep I hope it keeps getting better and better for you. Take care x
Hormones are a big part of what makes us who we are and they influence how we feel in our bodies and minds. I did not take the pill because it made me feel weird and I am not on HRT because I don’t need it. I am a feminist because I believe women deserve to be equal to men under the law and we are as smart and capable as men. I’m not seeing any connection between that stance and decisions about medicine that I make.
I'm with you Gemma. It troubles me that HRT is increasingly seen as a panacea. Personally I think we are sweeping a lot under the carpet about why women are struggling so much with perimenopause. As a psychologist I see a lot of unresolved grief, pain, and trauma surfacing during this life stage, and I don't believe that can be medicated away (or if we do mask it with pharmaceuticals we miss a powerful healing opportunity). I'm glad HRT exists as an option for those who are struggling to function, but I firmly believe there are other ways through. It definitely won't be my first port of call.
Thank you for this reply, I do worry about the panacea bubble of it too. I agree there is something more to it than just hot sweats, I believe a more nuanced discussion is needed in the mix.
Yes to this!
I’m a huge fan of HRT. It saved me. But also, it’s not for everyone, nor does everyone need or want it. As you’ve pointed out, what we need is research and information for women - and options so women can make the best decision on what works for her. Imagine!
Ha yes imagine! This is it though isn't it, having all the information enables us to make informed choices. I think it's a rich topic and I am so glad you found what you needed and it worked for you. We have to keep talking about it I think.
I’m a middle aged man.
I’m also a doctor.
I’m so glad you wrote this, and that I happened on it (new to SS).
Not infrequently I have felt I have failed my patients in this area. And as you succinctly describe, the issues are much more holistic and nuanced, often bound up with our messy modern lives.
Thank you so much for your insight, honesty and integrity 🫶🏼
Thanks for your reply Robin, I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you fail your patients, I can empathise. I worked as a nurse for 20 years and in the end had to leave because I felt that on the daily. It's a hard line to walk along, but I'm sure you do the best you can with what you have. Take it easy out there.
ps. I restacked it because I love what you've written so much, although I have zero clue what restacking actually does! ;)
Love this, and so resonant for me at the perimenopausal stage of life! I particularly love that final wrap up at the end - I feel that way too, that there's something in it, and it deeply resonates with me and my own experience with a cyclical 'hormonal' rash for the past 5 or 6 years - grieving, diet, lifestyle, healing deep childhood wounds and all that you mention in that last little bit have played the biggest part in helping it, whilst the doc wanted to just stick me on HRT or give me a hysterectomy to fix it.
thanks my lovely, the whole stroy has far more nuance than is perhaps being shared in the mainstream. But i'm right there with you! x
Great post Gemma.
The title pulled me in, because it hinted at the pressures we all face, in on way or another, to conform to the created ideology or narrative - especially if it has been long held or mainstreamed.
This captured it:
"That it’s safer, better, necessary and that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t take it."
The taught, learned, generalized and accepted consensus is "there IS something wrong with you for not taking the wizards magic potion - "that the rest of us are taking...see Gemma...we take it, why won't you???"
I would ask all of us, men and women, "are we crap humanist, if we take HRT" - the metaphor for everything - that has been created to work against the natural function of our bodies?
I'll stop here before this turns into a rant/post.
Well done ma'am, for rejecting the magic position(s), that now are used to bestow normalcy or abnormalcy, on us all.
Thank you for your comment. Its a conversation I have had many times with friends so i thought I would open it up to the internet and see what happened. Turns out I'm not on my own!
Oh not by along shot. There are many of us reclaiming this right to be and function normally and naturally.
Thanks for opening the space to discuss it and bolster those, who are just dipping a toe in these waters.
So very welcome, cheerleading you all!
Great post, I was actually just thinking about the pill and how many of my peers at about 15 were being prescribed it to ‘regulate’ their periods. I thought that quite odd but was too young to know why. And now, yes the HRT thing. I’ve tried it twice and it made me feel worse but also felt wrong doing it as I still don’t trust the information. I am on a daily basis trying to adjust the settings on me so to speak hoping that one day I will feel kind of healthy! But I am generally ok and that’s due to exercise and creativity and a great people around me but none the less women’s health is a massive enigma! I think it’s mainly because too many men got involved and now worse than that you have the ‘bros’ sticking their oar in! Ay yi yi! Im still glad to be a woman though!
The Bros looooooool yes they can get in the bin! Thanks for your reply to my post, its reassuring to know it isn't just me thinking this. I like the idea of adjusting the settings, its like a recalibration of things! If you need any help just give me a shout I have a load of herbal potions etc that can help. Women's health is defo an enigma.
Great stuff, I will! Thank you x
It's not worked for me. Or maybe it has but I definitely don't feel better, maybe just not as bad as i might. Who knows!. Hysterectomy for me next month as I've got complex atypical blah blah. I wish I'd known years ago what I know now. And the key, I am certain, will be tying together my hormonal health and my emotional health. It's a work in progress for sure and I truly believe that if I'd had the opportunity to balance my hormones naturally, with care and understanding from the off, I'd not have needed to implode now! I think you're a feminist for not taking it. And this article is superb xx
Hope all goes well with that my lovely. I know if i had a pound for every woman that has said that to me over the years i would be RICH! Yup our emotions are tied to intrinsically to our hormones you can't do one without the other really. Sending all the love to you xx
Thank you for this!!
I also loathe the fear mongering and the idea that I need to be on HRT for the rest of my life because somehow this natural transition means that my heart and brain are going to shrivel up if I don’t take a pharmaceutical. I mean, really?
I hear this endless mantra, “HRT doesn’t cause breast cancer,“ and then I go on Facebook health groups, and the number one thing I hear, woman after woman after woman after woman after woman say, is: “I love HRT, until I got breast cancer.“
Menopause has been a complete nightmare for me, for three years. I’ve been waking up 10 times a night with hot flashes.
But I’ll be damned if I’ll take HRT. I don’t trust it, I don’t trust the pharmaceutical companies, and I’ll keep trying herbs and acupuncture and psychological healing and throwing the kitchen sink at it from the alternative corner.
Just last week I have only been waking up about four times a night, which is a complete and total miracle for me. I started taking some new herbs and I’m hoping it’s either that or my body is finally learning it doesn’t need to keep doing this!
I’m just not interested in being a cash register for big Pharma. So whatever it takes, I’m going to find a way to do this without HRT!
I deeply appreciate everything you wrote here, it’s very validating and a voice that we seldom hear!
Hey Melissa, thank you for your reply. I'm so sorry you are having a bit of a bumpy time with things - I'm just throwing this out there that I am a herbalist if that is of any interest and you would like to know more happy to help - But yes it is very confusing and sensational at times I think with the media for sure, and it is an industry no denying it. I wish you more sleep I hope it keeps getting better and better for you. Take care x
Hormones are a big part of what makes us who we are and they influence how we feel in our bodies and minds. I did not take the pill because it made me feel weird and I am not on HRT because I don’t need it. I am a feminist because I believe women deserve to be equal to men under the law and we are as smart and capable as men. I’m not seeing any connection between that stance and decisions about medicine that I make.
Thanks for your reply Donna. I'm glad you have found your way though it all swerving the pills!
No judgment on anyone who is on the pill or who takes HRT. Healthcare is totally personal.