Why Do Men Need to Feel Our Pain to Believe Us?

Last week on Instagram, I let loose about the frustrating trope: if men feel our pain, they’ll finally understand. You can watch it here

Jeremy Vine recently tried a period pain stimulator on his show. And look, I love that period pain is being talked about on Radio 2—more of that, please. But why do we need to spend money making devices that prove our suffering? Why can’t we just be believed?

Instead, we get funny reels of men looking like they’re being electrocuted. Am I meant to find that amusing—or should I take this gadget to my GP, strap it on them, crank it up to 10, and say, this is what I deal with every month? Actually… not the worst idea. Would get the point across in under 10 minutes.

I hear every day from women whose period pain has been ignored or dismissed. It’s so common, it barely surprises me anymore—and that’s bleak.

I get that the lines are blurry. Taking paracetamol every month? Not inherently bad, it’s a strategy. But don’t you want to understand why it’s happening? To see if you can find answers so you don’t have to rely on painkillers every time?

Yesterday, I got a brutal reminder of how miserable period pain can be. It hit me like a truck—faint, nauseous, rolling around in agony. When the painkillers finally worked, I was completely wiped out. I don’t get periods like that often anymore, but perimenopause is throwing curveballs left, right, and centre. And even after years of working in women’s health, I still get blindsided.

But here’s the thing: just because pain is common doesn’t mean it’s normal. You can’t function properly in pain. And low-level pain, left unchecked, can escalate until even painkillers don’t cut it.

This year, I’m overhauling my health because peri changes everything. If you want to explore this alongside me, my membership is opening next month—it’s going to be the perfect space to navigate all the chaos happening to both of us.

Sharing, as they say, is caring. Hit reply if you’ve got questions, or find all the details here.